If I were going to give John every opportunity to exercise his own decision-making,
to cultivate his intrinsic motivation
(when he is motivated from within himself, not because I bribe or coerce him),
how might that look (for example, on vacation)?
How about this: him on the inside, me on the outside.
And I say, “Come out when you are ready.”
And, funny thing, it has started a habit now for him that he elects a time-out,
a time to self-calm.
In the bathroom.
And he is now locking the door.
Good or bad, most of our biggest adventures involve bathrooms.
Maybe this will be useful to you.
Peace be with us.